The past two weeks have brought to light the seemingly nefarious nature of various drinking practices that could be construed as heretically religious. These practices have been described as something in which Christians should not participate. I want to raise another issue that needs to be dealt with in the Christian community. You see, taken at face value, I do not believe that Christians should drink coffee.
Why would I say that? Coffee is part of Islamic spiritual exercises. Yep, you read that correctly. Coffee historian Dr. Al Folgers, of Seattle’s Best University, notes that coffee was initially used for Islamic spiritual rituals. According to Folgers, “at least 1,100 years ago, traders brought coffee across the Red Sea into Arabia (modern-day Yemen), where Muslim monks began cultivating the shrub in their gardens. At first, the Arabians made wine from the pulp of the fermented coffee berries. This beverage was known as qishr (kisher in modern usage) and was used during religious ceremonies. Use in religious rites among the Sufi branch of Islam led to coffee’s being put on trial in Mecca: it was accused of being a heretical substance, and its production and consumption were briefly repressed. It was later prohibited in Ottoman Turkey under an edict by the Sultan Murad IV. Coffee, regarded as a Muslim drink, was prohibited by Ethiopian Orthodox Christians until as late as 1889.”
So when Christians are drinking coffee, they are participating in part of the religious practices of a heretical religion, one that is not compatible with Christianity.
Now I know what you are going to say. “Hey, David, I don’t drink coffee as a religious experience. I like the taste or to just wake me up.” However, according to philosopher and theologian John J. Valdez, Jr., “coffee cannot be neatly separated into physical and spiritual dimensions. The physical is the spiritual in coffee, and the exercises where coffee is used are meant to connect with the divine. Even the seemingly innocuous – and often distasteful – instant coffee involves cultic practices.”
Valdez goes on to say, “If you are drinking coffee, must either deny the reality of what coffee represents or fail to see the contradictions between your Christian commitments and your embrace of coffee. The contradictions are not few, nor are they peripheral.”
Coffee is also demonic. Noted pastor Mark Mywords, a pastor noted for his use of MMA submission techniques as part of his discipleship material, notes the following: “Should Christians stay away from coffee because of its demonic roots? Totally. Coffee is demonic,” Mywords said. “If you just brew a little Maxwell House, you’re getting your body ready for a demonic takedown. You need to fill your body with the good fruit of the vine. Have a little Chardonnay instead of sipping on the Sanka. In fact, a little Millstone will be a millstone around your neck!”
Here is something you need to realize: you may be drinking something that was made from coffee beans, roasted, ground up, and brewed in a special pot. But that isn’t coffee. Coffee is not compatible with Christianity.